Whose Rainbows Never End
by Deena
Summary: A humorous take on Soujirou's adventures as a rurouni. He meets up with Misao and learns things that ShiShiO never bothered to teach him! **Updated!!**
1. Frightening Ladies and New Memories

~*~Part One: Frightening Ladies and New Memories~*~

The sun splashed low among the buildings in the distance, leaving behind a fiery tinted sky. Seta Soujirou gazed at the brilliant sunset with wide eyes.  Before this year, he had never once stopped to watch the sun rise or set. He had never bothered to study the stars in the sky or the ripples in water or the people on the street.

Now as a rurouni, he noticed all these things. The world surrounding him was fresh and striking. The gentle wind blew a swirl of sakura petals around him and he smiled, content. Perhaps he hadn't found all answers he was searching for but he did know that felt good to be alive. 

The back roads of Kanazawa were silent. His worn sandals made soft thuds upon the hard-packed dirt as he looked around for a place where he could spend the night. 

Abruptly, the languid feel of the dying afternoon was shattered by a woman's scream.

"STOP!! STOP THIEF!!! OI I SAID STOP DAMMIT!!!!"

From a side street spewed out a small man, running for all he was worth, a pink bag clutched in his hands. The thief glanced over his shoulder at the shrieking lady who was far behind him, tottering shakily in her getas.

"SSSTTTTOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPP!!!"

Soujirou moved fluidly to block the man's path. "I don't think that bag is yours," he remarked, smiling. 

The man gasped, coming to a halt. "Who the hell-"

He placed his hand on the hilt of his katana. "And I'm sure that you wouldn't want me to use this." Soujirou nodded to the bag. "Give it to me please and I won't hurt you."

The man looked at Soujirou and then looked at his katana. He looked over his shoulder at the lady who was clopping towards him, yelling obscenities and shaking her fist. Obviously the robber realized that his odds were not good. 

He turned and fled, tossing the bag as he ran into the shadows.

Soujirou deftly caught the silken purse. "It's okay," he assured the lady, who had slowed from running to a fast trot. "I got your purse back."

"AHA!" A loud voice above them proclaimed.

Soujirou and the lady both looked up.

Standing dramatically on the roof of a closed pottery shop, framed by skies of pink and blue and orange, was...that girl. The one with the long braid and odd clothing who had been with Himura and Saitou in the Shingetsu village. 

Lithely, she jumped down, her braid snaking around her. With theatrical flourish, she pointed an accusatory finger at him. "Tenken no Soujirou!" she bellowed, her voice swirling around the nearly empty street. "I should have known that you'd use your evil ways to rob a helpless woman! However I Makimachi Misao, will not let this pass! Defend yourself, smiling boy!"

Soujirou blinked. "Eh?"

The woman ignored Misao's noisy allegations and instead hurled herself onto Soujirou. "OH my HERO!" she sobbed melodramatically, burying her face into his gi. "I was SO frightened! The man was SO BIG and SO SCARY! There was SUCH terror in my BOUNTIFUL bosom! How can I EVER repay you?" She looked up at Soujirou with dry eyes and batted her lashes seductively. Said 'bountiful bosom' was pressed suggestively against his chest.

Soujirou smiled nervously, his face red. He didn't like the predatory gleam that was shining in the woman's eyes or the way she was rubbing against him. "Erm..."

"Don't you know who he is?" Misao demanded.

The woman glared at her. "I KNOW this DASHING young man SAVED my LIFE! So WHY don't you SHUT UP and SCRAM little GIRL?!"

"LITTLE GIRL??!!!" Misao hollered, outraged. "I'm seventeen dammit!" 

The woman pointedly ignored Misao. "Why don't you stay with me tonight?" she purred, breathing hotly upon Soujirou's blushing cheek. "A worldly WOMAN like ME could teach a SEXY little boy like YOU a LOT of *interesting* things."

For the first time since his 'family' had tried to kill him, Seta Soujirou knew real terror. Blatantly stark horror. He was afraid. No, he was petrified. 

He squirmed as the woman tried to slide her hand into his gi. "Um...your hand..." he flushed embarrassedly, hoping the brazen lady would get the hint.

"WHAT?!!!" Misao howled in disbelief. "You're propositioning the TENKEN?"

"I'm a rurouni now!" he cried, his smile faltering as he tried unsuccessfully to dislodge the woman's death grip around his neck. He was more than a little panicked. 

"A RUROUNI! How sexy!!!" the woman squealed, nuzzling his neck. She tittered. "Is that a KATANA or are YOU just happy to see ME?"

Neither Soujirou nor Misao knew what that strange comment meant and neither wanted to find out.

"So you still have your katana eh?" Misao muttered, narrowing her eyes. "I just knew it!"

"Himura-san still has his katana," Soujirou gasped, reduced to shoving at the clingy woman draped over him.

"That's different!"

"How is it different?"

"BOY YOU UNHAND MY WIFE RIGHT NOW!!!"

Everyone turned to see a massive, burly man stomp onto the scene. Soujirou used the woman's surprise at seeing her husband to extricate himself from her clutches. ShiShiO's highest subordinate cowered behind Misao, his face apple red, smile more than a little bit strained.

"Why SNOOKUMS, this BRAVE young man RESCUED my PURSE from a MUGGER," she gushed, leering at the smiling, shaking boy. "We simply MUST thank HIM!"

"Oh I'll thank him," the beefy man growled. "I'll thank him right in the nose!"

"Hey watch it!" Misao scowled her hands fisting. She was unable to ignore this intrusion of justice. "He was only trying to help your stupid hussy of a wife! She's the one coming on to him you blind fool!"

"Stupid hussy?!" the woman shrieked. "How dare YOU call ME a stupid HUSSY!"

Misao glared, stalking towards her threateningly. "You are a stupid hussy! You're married to that lunk of meat over there and you still decided to come on to the Tenken when you're like an eon older than him!"

The woman glared back. "Are YOU calling me OLD little GIRL?"

"Ahahaha!" Soujirou laughed fearfully, rubbing at the back of his head. "Uh...it's getting very late and..."

"What's the matter pretty boy?" the man taunted. "Too afraid to fight like a *real* man? Or is that katana you've got there just for show?"

"Hey the Tenken could kick your ugly ass all the way to Wakkanai!!!" She nudged Soujirou sharply in the ribs. "Right Tenken? Right? HEY I SAID RIGHT!!!"

Soujirou cringed. Women, he decided, were very scary creatures. "Er...right, right!"

She shoved him towards the scowling man. "SO BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA HIM ALREADY!"

The man slammed his fist into his other hand. "Yeah, show me what you've got, pretty boy!"

"Oh don't HURT him HONEYCAKES!" the woman begged her husband. "He's ONLY a CUTE little BOY. If you wanna hurt SOMEONE, hurt that LOUD-MOUTHED BRAT over there!"

"LOUD MOUTHED BRAT??!!" Misao turned to Soujirou. "KICK HER ASS TOO!!!"

Soujirou looked around at all the angry faces. He smiled a shaky smile and began to hop up and down on one foot. He knew that this was definitely a time for his Shuku-Chi. 

In a flash, quicker than the naked eye, he grabbed Misao and didn't stop running until he reached the outskirts of town, 4.826 seconds later.

Soujirou stopped beside a vacant rice field and let go of Misao. He was sweaty, not from the quick little sprint but from his encounter with that...leechy woman. 

Disoriented, Misao sank to the ground and blinked. "What the hell?" She looked around. "Where are we?"

Soujirou shrugged, raking his bangs from his forehead. "As far away from that weird lady as I could get us." He cringed, still shaking. "Boy am I glad Yumi-san was never that crazy!"

"Gee, I knew you were fast but not that fast." Suddenly Misao jumped to her feet. "SHIT! Now they'll think we ran away!"

"We did run away," he replied, calming down. He was far away from that lady. She couldn't hurl herself on him anymore. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief. 

Misao rounded on him and blasted a scathing glare his way. "How can you be so relaxed about this? We're cowards now! I don't wanna be a coward! Dammit, Makimachi Misao is NOT a coward! SO TAKE ME BACK AND WE'LL BEAT THOSE JERKS STRAIGHT INTO NEXT WEEK!!!!"

"We weren't being cowardly, we were just having some self-preservation," Soujirou explained, smiling. "Think about it. If I'd beaten that man then the lady would have wanted to thank me. She would have hugged me again." A shudder wracked his thin frame. "I don't think I could have handled that. She was scary!"

Misao stroked her chin. "Hmm, I see your point. I still would've liked to see you kick some ass but maybe another time." 

He nodded, one little detail gnawing at the back of his mind. "Um...how come you suddenly defended me to that man? You didn't seem all that pleased to see me before."

"Oh that," Misao replied breezily. "Well I heard the screams and I saw you so naturally I assumed you were the thief. But of course you weren't and like you said, you're a rurouni now, not a bad guy. And then that big, ugly guy came along and demanded that you let go of his wife. I mean jeeze, gimme a break! Any idiot could see that she was holding onto you and not the other way around. It was an injustice for him to accuse you of coming on to his dumb wife and I'm a defender against injustices!" She bowed floridly. "Makimachi Misao at your service!"

His smile grew. Misao was unlike any other girl he'd ever met before. Well not that he'd met very many girls before but she was different. "As you know, I'm Seta Soujirou. But you don't have to call me 'Tenken' anymore. Those days are over."

She studied him with big, liquidy eyes. "So you really aren't a killer any longer."

"No."

"That's great!" she burst out, beaming. "Now c'mon, let's go find a decent place to stay!"

Soujirou stared at her. "Place to stay?" he echoed. "You're not thinking of..." he trailed off, shocked.

"Coming with you?" she finished, grinning. "And why not?"

"Why not?" he sputtered. "Because...shouldn't you be in Kyoto or something?"

"Well yeah, but I kinda got broke. So I figured I could stay with you until I thought of something." Misao grabbed his shoulders and stuck her face an inch from his own. "You guys *DID* total my Aoiya, didn't you? So you *DO* owe me, right?"

He quickly pulled away from the glaring girl. "Well I suppose..."

Misao clapped her hands gleefully. "So it's settled then! I'm coming with you. Let's go!" She turned and began to walk down the path towards the city.

"Erm...it's not quite that simple Misao-san..."

She whirled around, blue eyes flashing as her voice took on a dire tone. "What's not quite that simple?" she demanded coldly.

Soujirou rubbed at the back of his head and smiled sheepishly. "Well actually, I'm broke too."

"WHAT?!!!!!"

He clamped his hands together in a prayer-like gesture and bowed at her in rapid succession. "I apologize! I'm sorry, Misao-san!"

"How the hell can you be broke?" Misao shrieked, her face turning an interesting purple color.

"Being a rurouni pays...well nothing!"

"SHIT!" Misao grabbed him by the collar of his gi. "Why didn't you steal that hussy's purse if you knew that you had no money left?!!!"

Soujirou struggled to keep smiling. And here people thought ShiShiO-san was unpredictable and frightening. They obviously didn't know Misao. "That would be an injustice. You yourself said that you defended against injustices, didn't you?"

"SHIT!" She cursed some more before letting go of him. "So what are we going to do now? We've got no money, no food, no shelter, no nothing! This sucks!"

"It's not as bad as that," Soujirou said soothingly. "I've been broke for a couple weeks now and I've survived. I'm sure we can find a barn to sleep in."

Misao shuddered. "Barns have spiders and I hate spiders. Therefore I hate barns too!"

Soujirou shrugged. "Well sleeping in a barn is better than sleeping on a street." 

"I can't believe that I'm reduced to this," Misao wailed. "I'll never get back to Kyoto at this rate!"

"I'm sure that we'll figure something out."

There was a silence as they headed down the path in search of a place to stay.

"Misao-san? How did you lose your money anyways?" he wondered curiously.

"I didn't lose it," Misao muttered, her expression dark. "Some guy took it all! He said that I broke his roof. Well was it my fault that his house was thatched poorly?"

"What were you doing on his roof?" he asked innocently.

Obviously it was a touchy subject. "NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!!!!"

Soujirou's smile nearly blew off his face. "Maa, maa calm down Misao-san!"

"DON'T PATRONIZE ME SMILING BOY!!!"

~~*~*~*~~

After a little hunt, Misao and Soujirou finally found a rickety barn to stay in. They both settled down into the coarse hay.

"Don't even think about sneezing," Misao warned, squirming in the hay as she tried to get comfortable. "You might blow this dump straight apart."

Soujirou rested his head upon his bag of meager belongings and laughed. Misao's complainings were actually quite amusing. He decided that he liked her. She was friendly and kind, when she wasn't angry that is. Her temper bordered on volcanic.

"This barn is a lot nicer than some of the other barns I've slept in," he mused, staring up at the roof. He could see the stars twinkling through the cracks. 

"You know, Himura said that you were going to find your own answers from now on," Misao remarked, her voice soft. "Have you found anything yet, Soujirou-kun?"

"Actually I have." He braced himself on one elbow and looked over at her. "I discovered that I'm glad to be alive. I'm free now. Himura-san was right. Deep inside, killing always did bother me. When he used his ougi on me, that truth came to the surface. I understand now that there's so much more to life." A far-off smile crossed his features as a memory floated to the surface. "When I was in Shizuoka I played with children. They were so small and full of life. I discovered then that I like children. I think...I think that it's these tiny memories that matter the most and they can erase all evils of the past and heal a broken spirit."

"Do you really think so?" Her voice was hopeful, eyes distant.

"Well I don't really know anything Misao-san," he admitted quietly. "I'm still figuring things out and I'm a long way from finding the truth. But...I can hope can't I?"

"Aa." She grinned suddenly. "You know, you aren't so bad. I'm sorry that I accused you of being a robber. Actually, you're kinda cool!"

A strange warmth puddled over him at Misao's unexpected compliment. No one had ever complimented the new, rurouni Soujirou before. "You're very nice too Misao-san." He blushed into the darkness that swam around them. "I'm grateful for your company. Before, I was always with ShiShiO-san and Yumi-san so I'm really not used to being alone. It's nice to have someone to talk to again."

"Don't worry," she reassured him. "After we get some money, you can come and stay with me in Kyoto if you want to."

Her generous offer brought a genuine smile to his face. "That's very kind of you but I doubt I'd be welcome. Afterall, we were the ones who destroyed your Aoiya."

"That big monster destroyed it not you," Misao contradicted, sitting up. "Besides, I'm the Okashira of the Oniwa Banshuu so I can do whatever I want to!"

Soujirou bolted upright. "You're the Okashira?" he blurted out. "What happened to Shinomori Aoshi?" He goggled at her, unable to imagine the stony, silent man relinquishing his title to Misao.

"After Aoshi-sama left us to join you and ShiShiO, I took over his position," she murmured, hugging her knees to her chest. She looked childishly vulnerable at that moment, as old pain clouded her expressive eyes. "Being a part of the Oniwa Banshuu means everything to me. It always has and it always will. Even if… even if he doesn't..." her voiced cracked.

"I'm sorry Misao-san," he whispered softly, guilt sweeping over him. 

"No," she cried hastily. "No. I'm just being silly." She smiled at him. "You said yourself that new memories could heal a wounded spirit right? That's what I've been doing ever since Aoshi-sama came home. One day he'll forgive himself and then I know he'll smile for me."

"ShiShiO-san gave me the task of bringing Aoshi to our side," he told her quietly, staring down at his lap. "I used his desire to fight Himura to make him join us. I apologize."

Misao touched his shoulder gently. "That's all in the past," she replied firmly. "Mistakes are made and we learn from them. We don't have to worry about all that anymore because everything turned out for the best. We can still make new memories, right?"

Soujirou smiled, her words enveloping him into a hug of warmth and acceptance. "Aa."

"So let's get some sleep. Tomorrow we have the big task of finding some money!"

He nodded, falling back into the hay "Good night Misao-san," he murmured peacefully.

"Good night Soujirou-kun."


	2. Once More in a Crowd An Unexpected Ally

~*~Part Two: Once More in a Crowd - An Unexpected Ally~*~

"I can't think of anything except for pick pocketing," Misao whined as they walked down the dirt path towards the city.

"Well we can't do that," Soujirou parroted for the hundredth time, preoccupied with watching a yellow butterfly flitter through the field of wildflowers that flanked the path.

"What if we only picked bad guys pockets?" she suggested hopefully. "If they're bad then they deserve to have their pockets picked." 

"How can we tell if they're bad or not?"

Misao blew the bangs off her forehead in frustration. "Well I don't hear you coming up with any good ideas! As ShiShiO's right hand man, shouldn't you be more enterprising or something?"

Soujirou smiled sweetly. "ShiShiO-san was rich. But don't worry Misao-san. We'll look around the city and see what there is. I'm sure we'll find something."

"Well I hope we find something soon," Misao grumbled. "I'm hungry. I want some breakfast."

Soujirou silently vowed that he'd do whatever it took to get money for Misao. He owed it to her after all that he'd done. Clearly Shinomori Aoshi meant a lot to her.

They reached the heart of the city a good twenty minutes later.

"Look at all these people," Misao observed as they made their way through the bustling crowds. "Look at all these pockets."

"Surely it's wrong for the Okashira of the Oniwa Banshuu to consider something as lowly as thievery," Soujirou commented, knowing that her pride at being the Okashira would keep her from acting on her urge to rob.

"You're right, of course." Misao sighed dejectedly. "I just don't understand how I get myself into these stupid messes! If Aoshi-sama was here, he'd be so disappointed in me. I'm sure that he never got himself stranded without any money."

"Probably not." He looked over at her and beamed. "But then again I doubt anyone would dare take Aoshi's money. He'd come after them with his kodachi and then glare at them something fierce!"

A tiny giggle bubbled from Misao. "Aoshi-sama does have the nastiest glare, that's for sure! I guess...I guess I just want him to be proud of me."

"I sure he's proud of you Misao-san," Soujirou assured her. "Most girls are no where near as strong as you are. He must know that you're special."

Misao preened smugly. "Yeah I sure can kick ass, can't I? Aoshi-sama better appreciate that! I'm HIS Okashira anyways!!!"

Even if Aoshi didn't appreciate Misao...Soujirou was starting to. She was brimming with vibrancy and humor and laughing cheer. Her personality was fresh, her smile open.

He snuck a quick peek at her. She was pretty too. Her face was smooth and natural, unmarred by powders and paints. Inky bangs dipped into animated blue eyes. Even her long braid looked nice.

Soujirou blushed and hurriedly looked away. He was supposed to be looking for job opportunities, not ogling Misao! How shameful for him to do such a thing! If she knew that he was looking at her like *that* then she'd probably beat the hell out of him.

"Ohhh look, plums!" Misao cried, as they passed a fruit stall, oblivious to Soujirou's inner turmoil. "There're so big and juicy-looking. Aw dammit! Why does food always look especially good when you can't have it?"

"I'm sure they're not that good," Soujirou remarked, trying to get her mind off the fruit. It wasn't easy since the plums did look big and juicy and sweet and fresh and...

"They even have strawberries!" Misao wailed. "My favorite fruit!"

"Mine too!" he exclaimed before he could stop himself.

Misao cast a mournful glance at the fruit stall as they passed it. "You like strawberries too, Soujirou-kun?"

He nodded. "Yumi-san used to buy me strawberries all the time. I'd never eaten a strawberry before I met her. She used to make the best strawberry mochi." He sighed, realizing just how hungry he was.

"Sounds like you miss her," Misao stated, throwing a glance his way.

"In a lot of ways, Yumi-san was like a mother to me." He smiled at her memory. "She would act so gruff, yelling and nagging at me all the time. But really she was very caring. She'd always treat my injuries after I'd train with ShiShiO-san and cook for me. She used to check on me every night when she thought no one was looking. But..." He looked over at his wide eyed companion and beamed. "That's all in the past. I'm sure Yumi-san and ShiShiO-san are happy, wherever they are."

"Well I always thought she was just a hussy but-"

Misao's comments were drowned out by a loud, familiar voice.

"OH YOO-HOO BOOOOOOOOOOY!!!"

Both of them looked at each other, Misao with annoyance, Soujirou with dread. Barreling through the crowds, coming straight towards them, festooned in a gaudy orange and blue kimono, was the lady from yesterday.

"OH THERE YOU ARE!!!" she shrilled nosily, launching herself onto Soujirou. "I was SO WORRIED when you disappeared SO suddenly last NIGHT! I understand that my BRUTISH husband FRIGHTENED you but you need NOT FRET my DARLING! He LEFT to do business in TOKYO this morning! Now WE can be TOGETHER, AT LONG LAST!!!"

"Misao-san, help!" Soujirou wheezed out, circulation to his head rapidly cutting off due to the woman's tight hold around his neck.

"Let go of my...er...koibito!!!" Misao hollered, blurting out the first thing that came to her mind.

"KOIBITO?" the woman shrieked, her face turning red.

"Koi...bito?" Soujirou whispered, feeling dizzy.

"Yes koibito!" Misao snapped. "We fell in love last night, didn't we Sou-kun?" She grabbed the dazed boy's arm and yanked him away from the woman in one formidable tug.

"Erm..."

"And I won't let you take him away from me, you married floozy!"

"Why THE HELL did you choose HE?" the woman demanded, scowling savagely at Soujirou. "She's as SKINNY as a TWIG! She's a LITTLE girl where as I AM a WOMAN!"

Misao saw red. Oodles of oozy, gooey red. "KANSET TOBI KUNAI!!!!"

Pinned to the wall of what appeared to be a restaurant, by Misao's kunai, the woman began to howl and scream, alerting every passerby within an 84 mile radius.

"MY BEAUTIFUL NEW KIMONO!!!"

Soujirou winced. His hearing was never going to be the same again.

The proprietor of said establishment stomped out, broom in hand. "Get that monstrosity off my wall!" he bellowed. "My customers are trying to eat breakfast!"

"MY BEAUTIFUL NEW OBI!!!"

"Yeah get her off, she's scaring the wildlife!" someone called out.

Soujirou turned to see that a rather large crowd had gathered around them.

"Serves her right for stealing another lady's man!"

"Who wears a blue and orange kimono with a purple and yellow obi? Talk about tacky."

Misao turned to the irate owner. "If I get her down, will you give me and my...er..." she pointed to Soujirou, blushing. "...him some breakfast?"

"Fine, fine, just get her to shut up!"

"YES!" Misao yelled. "Now we can finally eat, Sou-kun!"

A woman in the crowd sniffled loudly. "They are poor yet they still have their love!"

"Such a sweet couple. Like soul mates one could say!"

"MY BEAUTIFUL NEW HAIR ORNAMENTS!!!"

In one fluid motion, Misao leapt into the air, yanked back all her knives and landed gracefully beside Soujirou.

The crowd cheered as the hideously dressed lady flopped to the ground. Misao flashed V-signs to everyone, an arm slung around Soujirou's shoulders in a gesture of easy comradeship...or as the crowd perceived it, true love. Soujirou flushed luridly, struggling to keep smiling. 

Between Misao and that lady, his life was being turned upside down and inside out.

The woman stormed to her feet, hands fisted. "I SAW him FIRST!" she shouted, grabbing hold of Soujirou's arm and pulling.

"You're married!" Misao shot back. "And furthermore, HE'S MINE!" Misao snatched Soujirou's other arm and yanked.

Seta Soujirou, also known as the Tenken; the young boy who was ShiShiO's highest in his Jupon Gatana, the smiling perfect killer, tried desperately not to cry.

"Are you gonna take that braid girl?" someone screamed. "Kick her ass with those little knives!"

"A married woman behaving this way! How shameful!"

"Well can you blame her? The boy is cute!"

"Hey boy! If you don't want those ladies, you can have me!"

"Are those butterflies on your hakama, Shinriji-kun?"

"Stop stepping on my feet!"

"MOMMY!"

"He's MINE!" the woman screeched

"NO HE'S MINE!!!" Misao howled.

Soujirou clenched his eyes shut and prayed for help. He just wanted to keep both his arms intact. Was that so much to ask?

"What the F*U*C*K is going on here?!" a nasally voice demanded, slicing through the screaming and shouting. An uneasy silence descended upon the crowd as a tall figure strode forward.

"Katana gari no Chou!" Misao gasped, letting go of Soujirou's hand in shock.

"Chou-kun!" Soujirou jerked himself free and ran to his ex-fellow Jupon Gatana member. "HELP ME!!!" he cried, clinging to his arm.

Chou stared down in shock at Soujirou. Was this the boy who showed no emotion? The little brat who only ever smiled? The kid's face was bright red, his eyes wild and scared. And he WASN'T smiling!

Chou faced the crowd, covering his face with his hand, one eye closed. It was his freaky-psycho routine and it worked every time. "Oh fuck, my blades are so fucking thirsty!" he whined out. "As a fucking policeman I can fucking arrest whoever I want to, kill whoever I want to..."

The good people of Kanazawa didn't need to be told twice. Instantly the crowd dispersed, intimidated by the tall, broom-haired man.

One person, however, was not intimidated. "I don't CARE who you SAY you ARE BROOMSTICK!" the woman cried. "Because THIS is A PERSONAL matter! Now COME with ME boy! Surely you can SEE that I'M offering SO MUCH MORE than that LITTLE TWIG is!"

"Would you get the hell away from my restaurant!" the owner growled. "You're scaring away all my customers, dammit!"

"If anyone's scaring away customers it's her!" the lady yelled, pointing to Misao. 

"Why you...!" Immediately Misao had her kunai in her hands. "You want some of this?!!"

"Maa maa, calm now Misao-san!" Soujirou cried, sounding uncannily like Kenshin trying to calm down Kaoru and Yahiko.

Chou stepped between Misao and the lady. "You're being a public nuisance," he snapped. "I could fucking arrest you right now. Do you want to spend the night in jail with every fucking criminal in town?"

Misao snickered. "Then what would your darling husband say?"

The woman scowled but she knew that she had been beaten. "YOU haven't SEEN the LAST of ME," she promised Misao, delicately dusting off her kimono. "You MAY have the boy NOW but we'll see WHO gets HIM in the END!" She blew a kiss at Soujirou. "TA TA DARLING! I'll be BACK for YOU later!"

Soujirou shuddered as she flounced off.

Misao glared at the retreating orange and blue figure. "Talk about a hussy and a half!"

Chou looked down at Soujirou. "Never fucking thought I'd see the day when you'd be having women problems, brat."

"That lady is crazy!" Soujirou burst out. "I don't know what her problem is! She keeps hugging me and touching me and trying to get me alone and it's scary!"

Chou smirked. "And Battousai's little friend here doesn't like that, does she?"

"My name is Makimachi Misao," Misao announced regally. She cast a look at the owner of the restaurant who was busy inspecting his precious wall. "Oi! How about that breakfast you promised?"


	3. A Business Proposition

~*~Part Three: A Business Proposition~*~

Ten minutes passed in which Misao and Soujirou explained everything that had happened to Chou, as well as polished off a good amount of food.

Needless to say, Chou was less than sympathetic.

"If only ShiShiO-sama was here to see you make an ass out of yourself, brat!" Chou guffawed heartily. "Imagine his fucking perfect smiling killer afraid of ladies!"

Misao glared hotly at Chou. "None of is was his fault," she defended loyally. "Soujirou-kun was just being a good samaritan by returning that lady's purse back to her. How was he supposed to know that she was a crazy lecher?"

"ShiShiO-san's training never included anything about getting rid of pesky ladies," Soujirou muttered defensively. "I don't know why she kept draping herself on me anyways."

Chou rolled his eyes. "I can see that you're still dumb as fuck, brat." He whacked Soujirou on the head. "She was chasing you because she found you attractive, you damn idiot!"

"Attractive?" Soujirou parroted, perplexed, as he rubbed at his head. "I'm attractive?"

"Oh fuck," Chou groaned. "Oi, braid girl! You find the brat here attractive?"

"I already told you that my name is Misao!" She looked at Soujirou and blushed faintly. "Of course you're attractive Sou-kun. You wouldn't be my koibito if you weren't!"

Soujirou laughed. He knew that Misao was only joking but it still felt nice anyways. The idea of her finding him attractive made him feel warm and gooey inside. "Thank you for helping me Misao-san. It was quick thinking."

"Well, what can I say? I'm a master at quick thinking," she bragged, grinning.

"It was definitely quick but I'm not sure it was thinking," Chou drawled out, smirking.

Blue eyes flashed ominously. "Now you better listen up broomstick cuz-"

"Calm down Misao-san!" Soujirou hastily interrupted.

"Keeping your koi in check I see," Chou observed dryly.

Soujirou reddened while Misao threw her rice bowl at the tall blond. 

"Oh, please don't throw our dishes!" one of the waitresses cried, hurrying towards their booth.

"Er...sorry," Misao mumbled, scowling at Chou.

"Ahahaha!" Soujirou laughed, rubbing at the back of his head. He really didn't know what else to do.

The waitress swept away their dirty dishes and marched away after throwing Misao a disapproving glare.

Chou leaned back against the wall, his hands folded languidly behind his head. "So, have you brats thought of a way to make some cash?"

Misao exchanged a look with Soujirou. "Funny you should mention that..." she broached.

One eye closed, giving the katana-lover a decidedly freakish appearance. "Lemme guess. You want me to lend you some damn cash."

Soujirou cringed but managed to keep a slight smile. "Chou-kun, I would-"

"I've got a better idea." He opened his other eye and leaned towards them. "How 'bout you guys *earn* the money?"

"Earn the money?" Soujirou repeated, blinking. "How?"

"Well brat, I don't know if you know this but I work for the police as a fucking undercover agent."

Soujirou nodded. "Yes, I'd heard that."

"And so I get stuck with all the shady, keep-it-quiet shit. Catch my drift?"

"Yeah, yeah we catch your drift," Misao cried impatiently. "Just get to the point. What do you want us to do?"

"My latest assignment is to find some guy called Ishiyama Enrou. Apparently this asshole's got a lotta shit on the Meiji government and he's planning to start something big," Chou explained. "Lucky for you guys though, I've already found the guy. He's on his way to Tokyo for business as we speak. All you two have to do is break into his house and steal whatever incriminating information he has, along with all his plans."

"No problem!" Misao raved enthusiastically. "This sort of assignment is a cakewalk for the Okashira of the Oniwa Banshuu! We could do this it our eyes closed, ne Soujirou-kun?"

Soujirou nodded. "But is there anyone else in the house? What about his family?"

"I heard Ishiyama's got a wife but she ain't got nothing on you if you use that Shuku-Chi shit." Chou arched an eyebrow. "Well brat? You gonna take this job or what?"

"Thank you, Chou-kun," he responded, bowing. "We'll do it."

"So with all that out of the way, let's talk money. How much do we get?" Misao demanded.

"You'll get half."

"Haaaaaalf?" Misao wailed, outraged. "I say we should at least get three quarters!"

"Half is better than nothing," Soujirou reminded her.

Chou named the figure.

They both stared at him, stunned.

"Half of that?" Misao managed to squeak out. "No way!"

"We'll be able to journey to Kyoto ten times over!"

"So we have a deal then," Chou clarified.

Misao and Soujirou nodded avidly.

"Alright then, here's how it's gonna work." Chou pulled out a folded map of the city and indicated the house circled in red ink. "Ishiyama lives here. All his partners and friends live around him so you two gotta keep this as fucking quiet as possible, understand?" 

"Quiet is my middle name," Misao boasted.

Chou rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I can see that. Now this," He pulled out a key and held it up. "will open a door that leads to the basement. That's where Ishiyama keeps all his shit. But the frigged part is that the door lies in Ishiyama's bedroom. His wife will be there and it's rumored that she's a real slut. She'll prolly be getting it on with a few guys in there tonight."

Soujirou blushed and tugged at the collar of his gi uncomfortably. "Then we'll have to wait until...er...she's finished."

Chou was thoroughly enjoying embarrassing Soujirou and watching him squirm. The boy may have been one of deadliest killers ever but he was still so fucking innocent. It was obvious that he was developing an infatuation with the loud-mouthed Ninja girl. It was also obvious that he didn't have a clue what to do about it. It amused Chou to provoke reactions from the boy. He still smiled all the time and was unfailingly polite but now he got embarrassed and annoyed too. It was a shit-load of fun.

"What if she's having a fucking orgy?" Chou wondered, swallowing the impulse to snicker.  

Soujirou's face whitened and the girl blushed floridly. They both looked horrified.  

He couldn't resist. "Do you brats even know what an orgy is?" 

"Oh would you just shut up!" Misao erupted. "Let us worry about the details, alright? Just stop toying with us!"

"Who's toying with you?" Chou asked innocently. "I'm just providing you with all possible details."

"Well is that everything then?" Soujirou asked, fiddling with the sleeves of his gi as he quickly changed the subject. He *really* didn't want to talk anymore about bedroom activities and so on. Chou had always been crass but that was hardly the sort of thing to talk about in front of someone as young as Misao-san. And himself, of course. It wasn't as though he had much experience in the ways of women.

He barely repressed a shudder at the thought of that crazy woman and her unmannerly antics. What a crazy woman she was! How unmannerly her antics had been!

"Yeah, that's pretty much it," Chou said, thrusting a worn bag towards them. "All the info you need is in there. You brats have the rest of the day to do whatever you want. Just stay outta shit and I'll find you tomorrow morning. You'll get your cash then, deal?"

"Deal," Misao echoed, taking the bag.

"Deal." Soujirou glanced at his former teammate and tilted his head slightly. "Uh...Chou-kun? How come you decided to let us do this assignment for you? Not that I'm complaining or anything but-" 

Chou's expression was smug. "I have a date tonight. I was looking for a way to ditch this shitty assignment and then I found you guys, broke and causing a goddamn scene."

"A date?" Misao started to laugh. "Who on earth would wanna date a broomstick like you?"

As if on cue, a light alto, *very* recognizable voice cut through the noise of the restaurant. 

"There you are, Chou-chan! I was looking everywhere for you, koi!"

Soujirou boggled with wide eyes as Kamatari came prancing up to their booth and hurled himself onto Chou, kissing his cheek. His eyes got even wider as a faint red tinge colored Chou's cheeks.

"Kamatari-san," he gasped, staring in shock. 

"Oh Sou-chan!" Kamatari gushed. "You're here too! I haven't seen you in so long! And look, even that ugly girl from Kyoto is here!"

Misao's jaw opened and closed a few times before she could finally speak. "You're dating *Chou*?!!!"

Chou glared as he slung his arm around Kamatari's delicate shoulder. "What the fuck is wrong with that?"

"Now I've seen it all," Misao groaned, shaking her head.

Kamatari giggled.

Soujirou felt a headache coming on as he valiantly attempted to stay smiling.


	4. Into the Darkness

Author's Note: Many thanks to everyone who has nagged me for Part 4, most notably Meiling-sama. Her kind e-mail and words of encouragement got me writing again this long neglected ol' chestnut. I'd also like to thank Eris who has liked this fic so much she's (I think she's a she, if not I apologize 100x) decided to continue it in a spin off fic called "When the Rain Stops." I'm quite flattered! I hope the next part won't take so long! 

~*~Part Four: A Day like no Other~*~  

"...and to make a long story short, that's when I knew Chou-chan was the one for me!"

Chou looked smug as Kamatari simpered and nuzzled his cheek into Chou's hard shoulder.

The supposedly 'short story' had gone on for better than twenty minutes as Kamatari prattled on and on about insignificant details surrounding their courtship as well as Chou's numerous virtues.

Soujirou's smile was stretched across his face like a clothesline and it actually *ached*. His eyes were practically crossed in stunned disbelief. He couldn't believe that it was even *possible* to talk that long about Chou. Who knew he had so many merits? And Kamatari's gushing was only the tip of the katana as the two lovebirds kept touching and giving each other cuddly looks and doing things that one should never do in public or in front of young girls like Misao.

As though seeing ShiShiO kiss Yumi hadn't been enough of a harrowing experience. 

Misao looked exactly how Soujirou felt. Her eyes were wide and she was staring in a sort of horrified fascination.

"We're just so happy together," Kamatari cooed, his lips falling over Chou's smirking cheek.

"Yeah alright it's definitely time for us to be getting a move on," Misao announced, making a face. Clearly enough was enough. "Got lots to see and lots to do..." She nudged Soujirou in the ribs hard. 

"Yeah we do," the smiling boy piped up, quelling the inclination to rub at his ribs. Misao could hit *hard*.

"You guys better not fuck anything up," Chou warned, eyeing them suspiciously. "Otherwise you'll get shit."

"We know what we're doing," Misao snapped, scowling. "You just stick to your stupid date and leave us alone!"

Kamatari giggled. "I'll just bet you'd like to be left alone." He blinked long lashes at Soujirou. "You're finally all grown up, boy!"

Scarlet heat spilled into Soujirou's face. "Erm..."

"Oh stubble it!" Misao snatched up the bag filled with all the information Chou'd prepared and shot to her feet. "Come on, we're leaving!"

Soujirou hastily stood and took his good-byes. Chou's sneers and Kamatari's sniggers wafted after them.

Blinking in the warm sunlight, Soujirou glanced around. The crazy lady was no where to be seen so he relaxed a bit. "I'm glad to get out of there Misao-san."

"No kidding!" Misao began to plow her way through the morning crowd. "I can't believe those two idiots managed to pair up! It's a darn good thing they'll never be able to reproduce."

Soujirou was shocked. "Misao-san!"

"Well it's true!" She shook her head. "I never thought there'd be anyone *stupid* enough to like Chou. This is seriously the *weirdest* thing I've ever seen in my life!"

Soujirou was inclined to agree. Kamatari and Chou as a couple was simply too peculiar to think about. He still wasn't sure whether his mind had grasped itself around the concept or not. "Well...I guess this is good news. Kamatari's over ShiShiO-san at least."

Misao snorted loudly. "I wouldn't call Chou much of an improvement over ShiShiO."

Soujirou shrugged. "They deserve to be happy. I'm just glad we'll have some money now."

"And I'm just glad we didn't get caught by that damn Wolf cop Saitou." Misao wrinkled her nose. "Imagine if he was lurking around or something. He would've just thrown us into a cell and tossed away the key."

Dark eyes looked around. "So where are we going now? We still have the whole day before us."

Misao shrugged. "Let's go exploring. Exploring's free."

Soujirou agreed and they continued their way down the busy road. Constantly scanning the premises, the young rurouni kept an avid look out for that crazy lady. Even *Chou* hadn't been able to scare off her and that was saying something. Most sane people were scared Chou and if he couldn't contain her wild ways...Soujirou shuddered.

It didn't bear contemplating. 

~~*~*~*~~

The day ended up passing by faster then either would have expected. They explored the city in great depth and frequented numerous shops and stalls. There were hawkers and potters and street performers and painters and fishermen to watch. They spent more time than necessary to examine the information contained within the bag Chou had given them and plan their infiltration into Ishiyama Enrou's humble abode. Then, late in the afternoon they'd chanced upon a woman with her five children by the river attempting to do laundry. At Misao's insistence, they'd offered their services and kept watch over the five lively kids. Afterwards, the mother had been kind enough to invite them over for supper as a reward and that had been an act akin to heaven for both broke wanderers. 

Now Misao and Soujirou sat beneath an enormous oak just off a main road leading out of the city, watching hosts of fireflies glimmer in the warm night.

"So how much longer should we wait?" Misao fiddled with her braid, anticipation and excitement coursing through her veins. She could barely sit still, so hyped was she. "I wanna go now!"

"We should wait until the moon is above us," Soujirou replied, peering down at the well-creased map for the hundredth time. "We have to make sure the wife is sleeping. We don't want to...see anything." He tugged at the voluminous sleeves of his gi in embarrassment.

"What if she doesn't sleep at all?" Misao suddenly jolted to her feet. "I can't take anymore of this waiting, Soujirou-kun! You can just use your superfast speed to get us in and out before she notices anything!" 

Soujirou also rose. "Misao-san, it isn't safe to-"

"Come on, we could use the challenge!" She leaned close to him so that he could see her huge, entreating eyes in the moon's glow. "Please please please, live a little! We're trained warriors! It just isn't possible for us to mess this up!"

Soujirou blushed at her close proximity, glad for the veil darkness. He hastily took a step back. "Well I guess it wouldn't hurt to leave now," he relented, wiping at his warm cheek. "But if she's with someone then we'll stay away."

"Alright!"

With the aid of the map, it only took about ten minutes to reach Ishiyama Enrou's place. It was evident that the owners were rich for the resident was expensive. An ornately carved gate served as the entrance and beyond was a lavish garden complete with a sprawling pond, a meandering stream that curved around the house, hosts of numerous flowers and shrubbery and an artfully arranged rock garden.

They vaulted over the gate and slunk stealthily through the garden before ducking down behind a fructifying apple tree.

"You wait here," Soujirou whispered. "I'll quickly take a look around and see what the wife's doing."

Misao nodded as she took out her Kunai. "Just be careful."

Soujirou nodded, heat spreading throughout him at her casual concern. He took off.

Misao waited for a few minutes before Soujirou returned. "Well?"

"She's with...two men," Soujirou reported, flushing. "But they're just drinking tea I think. I couldn't see very well, she's only lit one candle. They're in the front room so I think it'd be best if we searched while she's occupied."

"How're we gonna get in?"

"There's an open window in the kitchen. The bedroom's just down the hall from there."

"Great!" Misao beamed and flashed a premature victory sign. "This is gonna be a piece of mochi!" 

Soujirou's smile widened at Misao's enthusiasm. "Let's go before she decides to use the bedroom."

They crept through the huge garden and around the house until they reached the open kitchen window. Misao climbed through first and cast a quick glance around the kitchen as Soujirou followed.

"Something smells really good," Misao whispered, stepping towards stove.

Soujirou's stomach agreed but now was hardly the time. "Later Misao-san," he admonished. "Once we finish this job we can buy a feast!"

Misao pouted but yielded. "Alright, lead the way."

"They'll be able to see our shadows so I'll use my Shuku-Chi," Soujirou informed her. "It's best to be safe."

Misao nodded. "Fine with me. It's cool!"

Flushing floridly, he took hold of Misao's arm and a scant 1.892 seconds later they were in the bedroom.

Misao blinked hard and shook her head. "Whoa, that's something else!"

Soujirou could still feel her skin beneath his fingertips. She was soft and smooth. He swallowed hard as his smile grew strained. This was stupid, to be thinking of Misao in this manner at a time like this!

"Uh...Soujirou-kun? Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" 

Soujirou followed Misao's finger to a kimono lying in a crumpled heap in the corner. "Mess?"

"No! Look closer, look at the colors!"

He approached the discarded pile of fabric and stained to see in the darkness. His eyes enlarged as horror began to puddle deep in the pit of his stomach. "This is...this can't be..."

"My night vision is perfect," Misao declared. "And that kimono is orange and blue and the obi is purple and yellow!"

"I'm sure lots of ladies have blue and orange kimonos," Soujirou offered weakly. 

"I guess... "

As if on cue, their hopes and wishful thinking was crushed. A voice they were all too familiar drifted from down the hall, increasing in volume.

"OH you're SO STRONG Nagisawa-san," the lady trilled, her footsteps coming closer. "And YOU Yosuke-kun are SO MANLY. I've always WANTED to HAVE TWO men at the SAME time to FEED my WOMANLY PASSIONS!"

Soujirou gasped and the loud lady unknowingly did what hundreds of fierce opponents, including the legendary Hitokiri Battousai, were unable to do; freeze the Tenken. A rush of undiluted fear coursed into Soujirou's veins.

How could *she* be the wife? Why did it have to be like this? Was this the punishment due to him for his murderous ways? Was this God dishing out justice?

Misao snatched hold of his arm and yanked him violently to the closet. "Open the damn door," she hissed. "They're coming into here! Do want that mad loony to catch you?"

No he most certainly did not!

Soujirou seized the key from his pocket and jammed it into the door. It opened with a creak but the whining noise was drowned out by the rapidly approaching voices. Misao shoved Soujirou hard and snapped the door shut behind them, throwing them into pitch darkness. Misao locked the door behind them and pocketed the key.

"I can't see a damn thing," Misao complained in a loud whisper.

Soujirou's heart was slowly returning to normal. "There's stairs here. Come on."

From the bedroom came a lusty squeal followed by a hoarse grunt. Both blushing youths were propelled into action and began the painstaking process of descending in utter darkness.


End file.
